He Fell Asleep

So he finally fell asleep. Snoring loudly, as vulnerable as both a newborn babe and the old man that he was. I looked at him with so much love, as much as everything I had and then some, and yet I knew it wasn’t even a thimble’s worth of the love he felt for me. For the last few months, I’ve been leaving him at least once a month for several days while I work in the city that was once both of our homes, before I uprooted us, driving 2800 miles west from Chicago to our current home outside San Francisco. It’s been over three and a half years. It only seems like yesterday, though we both know we’ve lived many yesterdays before that day. With every fervent look, with every wag of his stump of a tail, with every hop, skip and jump while we walk and hike, bouncing this way and that, showing off both his wiggle and his waggle, he finds his way burrowed deeper and deeper into my heart, not mention his entire body against the sides of my leg. 

My biggest fear is that Taylor won’t be there to greet me on one of my trips back from the midwest. It’s a grim thought no doubt, but one I am trying to come to grips with. Over two years ago, his brother passed away. Lawrence was a special boy. He was my brother’s special boy. And Lawrence’s brother Taylor is my guy, at one time over six years ago, my brother”s guy. He has been my guy for a very long time. Not since a feisty Chow named Jack has a dog become so much ingrained into my life. Even Foster as much as I loved him, I knew he was just passing through from one family member to another. He would have one more pitstop to live with my sister before he was called to heaven. 

This past trip, Taylor got sick. Of course, he waited till I left. A few days later, he got even more sick. I was still gone. Over a grand later after tests at the vet, and over $500 later in professionally cleaning my living room carpet, though the stains left would never go away, a reminder each day thereafter that I had left him, Taylor was starting to feel better. 

I worked from home today. I like to say that Taylor ran my meetings, one that I had with my team, one that I had with one of the members of my team, another with recruiting, another with on-boarding, and another with diversity. Taylor represented himself well in all of those meetings. He slept when he wasn’t on stage. 

And that’s what he’s doing now. The day is done. The night has come.

And Taylor’s back.
So am I.

  • Sleeping soundly after a long few days...

Originally written January 25, 2017.

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